So drunk, too bad you don't want this
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
