you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
