i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
