who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
