garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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