We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
