So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
