it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
