I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize