you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
