there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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