i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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