You're my little dorito
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
