return my video game
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
