Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
