Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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