I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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