i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize