Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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