If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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