somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
