i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
