Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
