I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
