Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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