we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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