then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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