either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
