Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We have started to decorate penises.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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