I skipped work to stalk him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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