I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
