I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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