didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
