living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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