I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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