Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They took my balls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
