my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
