my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
