Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
