Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
