so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
