if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
