your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
