Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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