It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
