I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
