He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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