I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize