when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
