I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
