p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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