Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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