I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize