Your tits are I can't wait for
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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