Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
