I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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